5 questions that will really piss your waiter off.

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Stupid orders and questions that really piss the staff off.

Okay, having spent years in the hospitality industry serving and getting to know hundreds of customers over the last few years, i have curated some of the most stupid orders and questions with the responses i only wish i could of given.

#1 Extra hot long black coffee

Customer – “Good morning, may i please have a long black please extra hot”

Right…. this one is a popular one,

My response – if the human race cannot work out by now that you can not boil hot water hotter than boiling hot water then we are all seriousley f**ked.

#2 How many slices do your pizzas have?

Customer – “Excuse me, how many slices do your pizzas have? as I’m starving”.

Well well well aren’t you a bright spark,

My response – “Well that really depends on how hungry you are? we could slice it more for you but will you be able to fit it all in?”….

3# Excuse me, do you know where ‘XXXX’ bar and cafe is?

Customer – walks in and looks at the menu, “Excuse me, do you guys know where ‘XXXX’ bar and cafe is?”

Another genius who clearly knows what they are doing,

My response – “Your f**king standing in it.”

#4 Do you guys serve food?

Customer walks in at 7 pm on a Friday night, we are all getting slammed and love the view of the door opening with more customers just piling in, one customers pulls you aside while I’m running around.

Customer – “Excuse me mate, do you guys serve food here?”

My response – while I’m holding two medium rare steaks and a side of chips, with over 30 people having pizzas and drinks around me, with the background music of the chef sweating his knackers off shouting at the dishy for absolutely no reason –

“No mate, we’re a f**king library”

#5 May i please order a bacon and egg roll

Okay these are the really annoying customers that i think just do it because they are maybe seriously bored with there lives or they are just stupid.

Customer – “Good morning, may i please order an bacon and egg roll, but instead of bacon I’ll have the ham and can i swap the egg for melted cheese?”

 

My response – “So you want the ham and cheese toasty instead?”

Customer – “No?”

Me – “Get out”

 

Written by Danny Simmonds

Founder & CEO | buddy Australia | www.buddy.world